nick | 18 | washington state university

studying personnel psychology and human resources, minor in spanish

language and culture

i enjoy music, coffee, puppies, cute boys, and nature

this blog is occasionally nsfw

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  • carrotcatmd:


    On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

    I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

    Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
    Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
    Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

    The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

    Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
    Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
    Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
    Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
    Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

    He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

    Do you have anything else?’ 

    Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
    Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
    Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
    Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
    Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
    Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

    He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

    Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
    Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
    Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
    Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
    Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
    Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
    Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
    Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

    The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

    Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
    Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
    Me: ‘Why not?’ 
    Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
    Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
    Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
    Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
    Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
    Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
    Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
    Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
    Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
    Me: ‘No.’ 
    Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
    Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

    At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

    A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

    Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
    Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
    Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
    Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
    Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
    Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
    Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
    Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
    Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
    Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
    Guard: ‘Yeah.’

    Security Guard walks over to me and……

    Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
    Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
    Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
    Me: ‘Why?’ 
    Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

    At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

    Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
    Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
    Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
    Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
    Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
    Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

    The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

    Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

    (via kingudamu)

    October 21 – 171123 Notes
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  • matrixmariox:

    A neighbor was playing "Anaconda" really loud last night while I was playing Smash Bros 3DS.

    You know what happens next.

    (via precumming)

  • penguintim:

    "America is a land of freedom!!11!!"


    (via pendents)

  • greatjaggi:



    What the fuck is the “super” in superwholock supposed to represent

    Sigh. Look at this plebian. Lets get this cleared up once and for all:


    "Super" = Superbad


    "Who" = The Hoobs


    "Lock" = John Locke from Lost

    Now can we please never have a misunderstanding about this again


    Well im glad that’s cleared up

    (via mr-fancy-panties)

  • (Source: marypoppinthatpussy, via kingudamu)

    October 21 – 129864 Notes
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  • continentcreative:

    Alicia Garces by Bita Cuarats

    (via kingudamu)

  • troyes-rifle-in-the-front-seat:




    As a paranormal/horror blogger I can assure you these child abuse ads are the most scariest and saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Probably because things like that are happening RIGHT NOW at this very INSTANT. 

    And it’s horrifying but hopefully these ads bring more attention towards it. 

    I got these from this buzzfeed article. You can view more ads and the sources for these ads there as well. 


    so important.

    The girl in the hands dress just completely fucked me up..

    (via frenchy-deutsch)

  • cubebreaker:

    New York-based artist Kim Keever drops paint into water-filled aquariums to create unpredictable abstract displays of color and form.

    (via twentysomethingfromnothing)

  • (via cowten)

    October 21 – 70008 Notes
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  • boxersandbinders:

    You may be able to get married

    But put that wedding photo on your desk and you may find yourself without a job. 

    The fight isn’t over. 

    (via hellahomobabes)

  • Sylvia Plath, 7 November 1959, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via lifeinpoetry)

    (via claustrophohohobic)

  • "What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle-age."
  • (Source: humortrain, via lightkitsume)

    October 21 – 104892 Notes
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  • "Greasing the Pole".

    Naval Academy’s ritual

    (Source: siooono, via smirkingfaceemoji)

    October 21 – 4730 Notes
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